how am I different.

I am sitting at my IBM Selectric with a loaded .45 wondering about the sounds in the house and the absence of anyone else, wife at the store with her mother and my son in school.

The writing is not going well and I stop after a little bit as I can see that I am not going to find the way in no matter how often I play with the safety, no matter how sharply I push my fingers into my forehead, wouldn't a smarter man simply walk away?
I don't know what a smarter man would do as I am not that smarter man but I think it is time to stop stop stop.
Lie down and try to get the headache gone.
I have decided this weekend to cold turkey narcotics. Don't be concerned - I have prescriptions and have them for the chronic pain but I am so tired of taking them and everything else that I need one gone - the narcotics make me irritable I think so they go.

this should be an interesting weekend.


shade of white!
              you took me by
         surprise.