After the trip and nearly healed...

I've been back from Florida since Sunday when I promptly went to bed and slept the better of twenty hours. See the abuses to my body of such long days on my feet and the amount of pain control medications (prescribed narcotics and opiates) along with no sleep and catching something from the Hollywood theme park did me in for that day and really the rest of this week so far. My beautiful wife has been dutifully preparing the house for our sons birthday party tomorrow while I basically wandered around in a listless manner reading Paradise Lost and sucking on several Halls mentholyptis. She is better to me than I deserve.
I managed to write four pages this week and a poem to send off to my Aunt Kate who I have come to the understanding is dying and not going to live much longer. This weighs heavy on my heart indeed as she and I are the best representation of what family really is. She also suffers chronic pain and has Cancer to boot - earlier this year she broke her hip and has truly failed to recover from that - there was never any hope of a recovery from the lung cancer which is now spreading like the terrible disease it is.

I don't mean to bring you down. I love this woman dearly and now only hope for her pain to vanish away no matter what that also means.

I realized that I've missed two Magpie photos and am currently looking at this weeks to suss out the right words.

it’s okay to die

I look forward to death

with relief, comfort

and sedated melancholy.
if I look up now

what will I see?

and if I look down?

man was not born for

pursuit of perfection

but to be free;

not tied to breathing,

entrapped by fear.

it’s okay to die.

this is what I tell myself

while it is not too late

for living.

 - Hoc Scripsi