a poem of no consequence and without intention

it's amazing how retyping has altered the following poem. I completely altered a verse and found two copy errors that would have otherwise gone unnoticed had I cut and copied. Having the errors would have been embarrassing enough but some of the original was deeply flawed as well. It is a better work now I think and you will have nothing to compare it to.

This is generally how my poetry progresses from first draft to final, however, once final I try to not go back, so to say, but now that I am retyping older finished works for this journal I am having to. It is making me a better poet - or maybe not but the drugs and  delusions aren't either - or are they?

relative day  (a poem of no consequence)

daises 

lilacs

hyacinth

wild grown purple orchids

and aphids

concrete

wrought iron benches

400lb ashtrays

pebble garbage cans

bleeder hose irrigation

garden

open sky

thirty Mexican laborers

two white foremen

ants cavalcade

on abandoned pastries

old men on benches

cooing pigeons

young sleeping dogs

trees already blooming

white

brick paved walkway

impeccable

standing

one dozen half open benches

caramel tinted soda in bottles

sun's up

fifty-three degrees

daises 

lilacs

hyacinth

wild grown purple orchids

and aphids

relative day

- I wrote this.

as another example of a poem that has altered a lot from the simple act of retyping it somewhere and having to rework the wording to express my intention is a poem I first put on facebook only to have my errors pointed out, painful to my heart but necessary, and then being told a word was unnecessary. Of course I argued and foolishly did not listen but privately I altered the poem as suggested and found she was right, thank you Heather. What really buggered me about this one is that I had tried this poem written exactly as it is here before deciding on a different version which took away the essence for a mnemonic device that didn't work anyway.  here is that poem in it's final form...

without intention

your beauty reminds me 

I am living.

your touch reminds me

I must breathe.

your sighs take 

my body to sleep,

your very being resting

heart's beat to steady.

aroused by your silence, we

let love awaken with

morning breath.

we, like children, laugh

under covers in darkness

pretending we are alone,

untouchable, cradling

the others infinite fragility.

I arise to know you.

I arise to know these depths

with atonement;

depths without failure,

I arise to know.

your beauty reminds me 

I am living.

your touch reminds me

I must breathe.

your sighs take 

my body to sleep,

your very being resting

heart's beat to steady.

- I wrote this