Friday, November 12, 2010

After the trip and nearly healed...

I've been back from Florida since Sunday when I promptly went to bed and slept the better of twenty hours. See the abuses to my body of such long days on my feet and the amount of pain control medications (prescribed narcotics and opiates) along with no sleep and catching something from the Hollywood theme park did me in for that day and really the rest of this week so far. My beautiful wife has been dutifully preparing the house for our sons birthday party tomorrow while I basically wandered around in a listless manner reading Paradise Lost and sucking on several Halls mentholyptis. She is better to me than I deserve.
I managed to write four pages this week and a poem to send off to my Aunt Kate who I have come to the understanding is dying and not going to live much longer. This weighs heavy on my heart indeed as she and I are the best representation of what family really is. She also suffers chronic pain and has Cancer to boot - earlier this year she broke her hip and has truly failed to recover from that - there was never any hope of a recovery from the lung cancer which is now spreading like the terrible disease it is.

I don't mean to bring you down. I love this woman dearly and now only hope for her pain to vanish away no matter what that also means.

I realized that I've missed two Magpie photos and am currently looking at this weeks to suss out the right words.

it’s okay to die

I look forward to death
with relief, comfort
and sedated melancholy.
if I look up now
what will I see?
and if I look down?

man was not born for
pursuit of perfection
but to be free;
not tied to breathing,
entrapped by fear.

it’s okay to die.

this is what I tell myself
while it is not too late
for living.

 - Hoc Scripsi


  1. Finally.. damn, it was only a week.. sorry you have been ill, but happy you and the family had a good time..and your Aunt, I extend my strength to you..
    i too have been thinking of death lately, and that wonderful poem..well it opened my eyes..
    thank you..

  2. Good to have you back. My heart goes out to your Aunt and yourself.

    And your poem says it well.

    Welcome "home."

  3. My prayers for your Aunt.
    My thanks for the poem. Your words ring too true.

  4. Welcome home. sending along good vibes as well...

  5. I tell myself many of the same things. When the moment is at hand, I'm not sure what I'll be saying. nice poem Jhon! Nice to be back...


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