Thursday, June 10, 2010

I once had a heart

Love regards people as mystics, casting their powers of future perception against another torrid lovers premonition.
The diseased mind finally discovers the secret of happiness but it is not accepted so it makes those practicing it miserable.
dreamt last night about playing an electric guitar with heavy use of the tremolo bar, making the strings ride against the fret board, I've tried this many times and have been unable to produce the sounds the dream tells me I want.
the medication levels the mind while making it harder to express these same thoughts. though the end product may be better, it is harder. Four daily medications make the writing better, the sex better, and anger better.
also, they make the moments of staring into apace more profound in quality, more consistent in quantity.
I can hear song birds congregate next door where we've recently placed a bird feeder. It is always easier to give away things that require upkeep then try to have them around your property, like said bird feeder or pets.
the reemergence of insanity lost me most of my friends but those that stayed get to enjoy the cure. Ironically they became my friends before the psychosis went into remission and left when it came out of remission.
I am not lost without them.
I am simply unburdened of them and their troubles.

I've decided to end this one by saying, _________________.


  1. after 20 yrs living under fists of an abuser, i look back and thnk, perhaps i was mad afterall..the ones that left me, i am better without..the ones here now, i embrace..
    the silence allows me to be..and that my friend at the end of the day is all we ever BE..

  2. I am so happy and proud that you survived that hell.

  3. If they can't hang in during the bad times, they probably weren't really "there" anyway...
    "fair weather friends"

  4. Yes. A real friend is tough, faithful, and you probably couldn't even drive her away with a baseball bat!

  5. Yes yes, very true Margret - in the case that I was talking about the only time I eve saw them was when they needed, otherwise there were no dinner invitations. Thank you for joining!


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