Thursday, April 28, 2011

For Aunt Kathryn

As was proposed yesterday: here is the second part that I am going to read at my Aunt Kathryn's memorial service on Saturday, which we will be leaving for in the morning at approx. 4am.

There needs to be a way that I can step out of my door and straight up to yours, bend space and time, bend light and dark, dematerialize and reconstruct in an instant - there ought to be a way, not eventually, not in the next life but now. It would please me immensely to sit for a cup of coffee or tea with you right now, have a scone or doughnut and laugh at quaint jokes and remark upon the headlines of the local paper. We need this ability more than we need another war, another fastest plane, another super computer or another convening of the Senate.

I lift this coffee mug to you, be well.

with love,

There has been some push back for my want to read this and the poem (read yesterdays blog for poem) selected partially for the reason as it was the last poem of mine she had ever read and this paragraph is the last thing from me she had ever read - both are important to the relationship that we shared and her immediate family who have given their blessing.

I cannot comment too much on the push back but to say - what the hell is wrong with someone when they believe they can dictate the manner in which we grieve? When they can pretend to know what is best in these moments for others. We each grieve on our own, in an individual way; our personal memorials are largely dictated by what we ourselves actually require to heal. What we ourselves need to learn to brave the day without the person we loved so fully.


  1. i stalked over here from Micael's blog.
    So glad I did.


  2. thinking of you sweet soul....

    and yes, you are quite right in questioning the *wrong* in the people who pretend to know of someone else's grief.

    the beauty of your words seem only exceeded by the beauty of your relationship with your Aunt..


  3. Your in my thoughts and you are very right about no one can dicatate how one can grieve!!!

  4. There is no proper way to grieve. It's a highly personal process.

    It would be my greatest joy to step out my own door and up to my grandmother's. I still see her hands, hear her laugh.

    All the best, Jhon.


  5. A thoughtful tribute Jhon. I feel for you and really do wish you could share that last cup of coffee with your aunt. Take care...

  6. Sorry to hear of your Aunt's passing, Jhon. That's a lovely reading. The death of a loved one is really puts things in perspective. Your final paragraph about grieving is right on the mark.


I will reply to communications via e-mail. If you have not enabled e-mail communication then I cannot reply to your communications, if you want to hear back, you must enable me to do so, everything is more personal this way.